Excuse me, Are you taken?

An older woman and two Unsuspecting Young Single Females of Marriageable Age (UYSFMA) are out for dinner on a lovely Damascene evening. Suddenly, a young lady of about 30, unknown to all at the dinner table, approaches the table.

*Young lady: Hello. Excuse me, but is the Miss taken? [Points to the UYSFMA at the opposite corner]

Older lady: Hi, sorry, excuse me?

UYSFMA: Who, me?

Young lady: Yes, yes, are you currently taken?

UYSFMA: Uhhh...Yes, I...am.

[*Note: This conversation has been translated from Arabic to English]

Believe it or not, this is not an uncommon occurrence in Damascus. Marriage is one of the most, if not THE most, important issues in Damascene society today. It has been a main topic of 80% of my conversations with Syrians--a discussion had amongst married and unmarried folk alike. Additionally, it appears to me that Syrian mothers, grandmothers, sisters, or aunts walk around with a checklist of criteria that need to be met. This list includes questions regarding the following:

-Age

-Career/Income

-Education

-Family Name (an indicator of social class)

-Religion

-Cooking abilities

...and so on. Who needs match.com when you have a Syrian grandmother?

In Syria, marriage is not necessarily an issue of love and emotional compatibility. It's a business deal--a topic to be approached rationally and practically. Compatibility is calculated based on an equation invented by our ancestors long ago. The equation, though not written or specific, includes the above factors--each factor carrying a different weight for each bachelor/bachelorette, though the basics need to be met. Basics include being of the same religion and a similar social class, the rest is secondary.

Syrians approach marriage boldly and comfortably. It's the natural progression of life, and to go on unmarried after a certain age (particularly for women) is "unfortunate". Luckily for me, I'm not one of these "unfortunate" cases...yet.